Assumptions, travel bias, and micro-aggression.

Assumptions, travel bias, and micro-aggression.

I spent twenty-three years in the airline industry as a flight attendant. Many of those first years I was often the only person of color on the crew. Therefore, my experiences in being looked at differently have been more than eye-opening.

My career started in the late ’80s and people of color travelers were not as prevalent as they now are. As a flight attendant, I had the privilege of standby travel, which meant I flew somewhat free, but that meant I got any seat not taken by a paying passenger (more on another blog post). Often it was the dreaded middle seat, the least desired seat near the restroom, or even on a flight attendant jumpseat, which is often right next to the restroom. I traveled plenty but not often comfortably.

As I began to travel more for pleasure than work, I often chose to fly in premium cabins. I had often heard the refrain “you get there at the same time so why does it matter?” My choice had a lot to do with the fact that in a premium cabin I could expect the type of service I paid for, or in some cases demand it. I say demand because often while traveling as a person of color, there appear to be assumptions that people of color don’t deserve service, much less premium service.

There were many times when the announcement was made for premium cabin boarding, and I would be almost pushed out of the way or looked over by others who did not expect me to be in a premium cabin. Gate agents would often look at me and reiterate the boarding announcement as if I was hard of hearing. Flight attendants would demand to see my boarding card if I paused in the premium cabin to put my bags away. The many acts of travel bias and microaggression often left me with a less than pleasant travel experience.

Have you had similar experiences? If not a person of color, have you ever noticed it? I’d love to hear about your experiences and your thoughts.

Choosing the right travel partner brings treasured memories.

Choosing the right travel partner brings treasured memories.

As I end this most recent trip without my travel partner of the past thirteen years, I reflect on my feelings about this travel experience. One of the most important aspects of having a wonderful travel experience is the consideration of your travel partners.

There are many different types of travelers. This includes budget travelers who want to make the most from their trip with the least expense. Another type is carefree travelers who often give no care or consideration to the footprint they leave behind, whether it be a trashed hotel room or negative impressions.

Needless to say, I fit none of those categories. After years of professional and personal travel, I try to leave behind a very minute footprint and I have no problem budgeting and paying for the type of accommodations and experiences I expect. That being said a hotel room with no bathrobe or slippers is subpar for me as my feet touching the floor gives an instant gag reflex (more on another blog post).

When considering travel companions, choose wisely! An incompatible travel partner can leave less than treasured memories. Those minute frustrations that arise can play havoc with the inner travel experience you will have. Often you will hold back on voicing your opinions to not create friction while traveling. Subconsciously, however, this takes away from the enjoyment of the travel experience. I would suggest you think long and hard about choosing the right travel partner.

Have you ever planned a wonderful trip then regretted it before it ended? Share your thoughts, I’d love to hear about them.

Unexpected travel experiences!

Unexpected travel experiences!

Every once in a while, travel brings some unexpected challenges. Recently my family had an unexpected travel experience. The current COVID policy with taxi services is that no passenger sits next to the driver. Therefore with 3 or more passengers an Uber XL or similar is needed. Unfortunately, this comes with third-row seating and unless you are familiar with the car you get, it is up to the driver to let the third-row passenger out of the car.

My brother, wife, and two nieces recently traveled to New York and took an Uber XL from the airport. As they arrived at the hotel, my brother, wife and one niece got out of the Uber waiting on the driver to let my other niece out of the third-row seat. As this was happening a random man jumped in the car and proceeded to carjack the Uber with my niece still inside. My quick-thinking other niece jumps back into the Uber and now both have been carjacked.

Everyone calls 911 and my brother tracking the Uber drive, jumps into a cop car with the Uber driver and the chase begins. However, the carjacker realizes he is being tracked and dumps the Uber driver’s phone. Meanwhile, my nieces are in the Uber screaming to get out, and as standard in NYC, no one pays attention. They demand to be released and the driver complies but somehow they decided they would not get out unless they had their luggage. The carjacking resumes and my nieces must have been screaming so much that the carjacker one again and stops and puts them out with their luggage. My nieces are then picked up by a pursuing cop who takes them to the precinct while the chase continues for the carjacker.

I don’t know how that chase ended but it was an unexpected trip and experience for my nieces and my family. I’ve never had anything remotely similar happen in my travel experiences. It was a reminder that in all travel we need to be vigilant and self-aware.

Have you had any unexpected travel experiences? I’d love to hear about it.

Marriage, the inner journey.

Marriage, the inner journey.

It’s only fitting today as I celebrate my wedding anniversary, to focus on the journey of marriage.  Although an experienced traveler, I did not pack light for this journey and it came with no travel map.  I was bringing a bundle of past anxieties and hurts, along with two minor children. Having taken this journey before I was aware of turbulence and so I believed I was prepared.

There is no blueprint for the perfect marriage journey. Oftentimes that inner journey is fraught with the perceptions of our family and peers.  At times they are wearing rose colored glasses, but more often they are wearing shades.  It takes a lot of travel to get to a point where you are satisfied with the marriage journey as it is and as you make it.

My marriage journey took me to another continent with two kids, no family, no support and a strong faith in making the journey about me. I was often advised of the perils of  moving away with no family or friends to rely on.  However, I knew that I had taken this journey before with the support of family and friends, to a not so happy landing. This time, I had to take the journey on my own and with the thought that I had the inner strength to survive, even on another continent, and so my journey began.

Today I look back and I am so proud of not doubting myself.  My life is richer for the journey and experience.  I am content to have raised third culture kids (more on another blog post) who are truly culturally aware and diverse.  I have created a marriage that has survived and continues to survive the long distance trials and heartaches.  But, most importantly, I chose to take that inner journey, and although it is continuing, I have weathered the turbulent as well as the smooth cruising altitudes, with a great love I could not have imagined.

How has your inner marriage journey been? Have you reached your destination? I invite you to enjoy the journey, no matter the destination, and share with us the joys and pitfalls of your travel experience.

Massage, one of the best things for self care.

Massage, one of the best things for self care.

They are plenty of different types of travelers. Backpackers, weekenders, thrill seekers, and holiday travelers are but a few.  I have traveled extensively for work and pleasure and I consider myself a spa traveler.  For me, travel is not just to have been to a destination or to check it off my bucket list, I travel for the experience of travel.  Most importantly, a spa visit to wherever I go is a must as I believe that self care is the best care.

With Covid 19, travel is limited, but it is limitless in my mind.  Inner travel often takes me back to many of my previous travel experiences as well as the ones I’d like to have.  Lately, getting at home massages has been a way for me to elevate my inner travel experience. I believe that a massage is one of the best things for self care, a way to treat yourself and take a break from life.  For an hour, I can do nothing but be still and have someone concentrate on me, the ultimate getaway.

What travel experiences do you think you can bring to your life without leaving the presence of your home?  Can you make a cocktail or cocktail and take an hour for yourself? Can you just sit still and watch the world go by on your street or neighborhood?  Just people watch like we do when we’re on vacation and curious about the people and places we see.  Try it and let me know how bringing the inner travel experience to life works for you.

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