My inner journey.

My inner journey.

Being a mother is a never-ending travel experience. Just like taking an actual trip, preparation is vital! My recent journeys have been a bit different as I felt like my travel and motherhood journey was at an end. Yet the reality is that it is still at an inflight stage. Covid19 became part of my reality in 2020, and I could no longer consider myself an empty nester. Even though my children are in their 20’s, I immediately felt the mothering phase kick in; are you well, taking care of yourself, wearing masks, social distancing, and the like. I will always be a mother, but after becoming an empty nester, I lived my life as such, and so was an absent but present mother.

My oldest has graduated college, started a career in the USAF, and became a homeowner at 23 (shameful humble brag). My youngest is in her senior year of college and is doing well in her social and school life. She attends the number 1 HBCU Spelman College (prideful plug), responsible enough to have been a resident advisor, scholarly enough to be on the honor roll, and social enough to be on several school boards and activities.

2020 came, and the Covid pandemic was apparent.  My youngest had to leave school in Atlanta, a ten-hour ride from our home in Texas. I am an empty nester, was +24 hours away on another continent. All I could do was advise. “Pack up the car and drive safely,” I said. For the next six months, I remained in Asia while my baby girl lived at home alone. The choices we made were heart-wrenching and although I constantly checked in, not being there was very difficult, so my “inner” motherhood travel journey began. Was I a bad mother? Should I be with my grown daughter instead of my husband? What were people thinking of me?  Should I travel back home?

I have been home in Texas for a year now, and another inner journey has begun; am I a bad wife? Should I be with my husband? What is the right choice?  How do I feel?   What I do know from my lived experiences is that self-care and self-love are essential! We must acknowledge the inner journey. I live my life between two continents, North America and Asia, so my journey has to continue.

What will my next journey be like? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I will share it with you, so keep following for more.  Let’s take this journey together.

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Why I blog.

Why I blog.

I have long been a proponent of taking care of myself, and so my interest in blogging is to inspire people by sharing my knowledge and wisdom. I started this blog because even though I am well educated with a doctorate and have traveled worldwide, I felt that people did not hear my voice. I have first-hand experience professionally and personally, and so I believe there is much that I can share. My thoughts and experience count, and this is why I blog. My wish is for people to realize the power of their voices and opinions by bringing stories to the forefront that might create dialog and interaction. People are often so hesitant to share their thoughts or experiences for fear of perceiving that they are trying to be more than they are, even when qualified. Most times, sharing can be inspiring to others, but we need to celebrate ourselves most of all.

One of the first comments I received on my blog was from someone who had been following my social media posts for years and was excited to see more. This feeling gave me a purpose in that If I could inspire one person, maybe I could inspire a lot more. So despite the naysayers, I continue to blog.

When I try to discuss my thoughts and ideas on blogging with many of the people I thought would be supportive, they were not. Blogging was similar to my traveling. Many enjoyed seeing my posts but thought I was going beyond my place in life. As always, I listened to my inner self. If no one were going to celebrate my path, then I definitely would!

There will always be people who doubt you and your abilities, who subconsciously try to inhibit your growth or success. I blog one post at a time, just as I traveled one destination at a time. I have a well-lived experience that has all revolved around traveling. I am most comfortable with and something I can share, knowing that I have a breadth of experience to support my thoughts and knowledge.

I mainly wanted to blog in short posts to inspire thoughts. I may change as my blogging experience continues, but for now, I am just choosing myself and my way. I have faith that the universe will guide me.

Thanks for going on this journey with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Your choice to travel is yours alone.

Your choice to travel is yours alone.

For years I have had to battle the question of my travel experiences. When it was professional, it was “how can you leave your kids?” When it was personal it was again about the kids and whether I should put their needs first. Recently the question was “what about Covid?”

There will always be questions no matter your choice. The only right choice is the inner choice you make and life is too short not to put yourself first.

I always choose me! This might seem selfish, but I cannot be a good mother, wife, or friend if I am stressed out and unhappy. I have learned that more now since becoming an empty nester than ever before. My kids are grown, and I honestly believe that they would not have me make any different choices than the ones I made. Of course, they have not always been happy with my choices, but at the end of the day, I have.

You can be replaced easily at work, marriages fail, children grow up, and tomorrow is never promised. Life is too short not to travel, not to take a vacation, not to get a massage, not to put yourself first. Choosing to travel is a gift to yourself that you can open as many times as you desire. My choice is to travel, it’s the gift I give to myself.

Have you ever been judged for your choice to travel? Let me know in the comments. I bet I’m not alone.

Covid travel or not?

Covid travel or not?

This was not my first trip since the outbreak of Covid 19, but with the resurgence and travel advisories against Thanksgiving travel, I had lots of inner struggle with my travel plans.

My first trip during Covid was the long trip back from Asia and it was a struggle trying to decide whether to stay in Asia or return to the US. As my youngest had braved Covid on her own for several months, I decided it was time to return home and be there for my daughter (see motherhood blog). As I was now in the US and only 3 hours away from my mom rather than 24, I planned my Thanksgiving travel. There was certainly a bit of angst as New York had been designated a hot spot.

However, my trip was a choice I felt I had to make. Having been an ex-pat for many years and not seeing my mom in a while, I looked forward to this visit. I had planned this trip well before the resurgence of covid concerns and realities. With a recent unexpected death in the family, I struggled with the thoughts of missed opportunities. Should I reschedule my trip? Covid was so unpredictable I wondered whether any other timing would be optimal for covid travel.

It is said that most family gatherings are at funerals and I struggled with the thought of canceling my trip and missing a positive family experience. Still and all, I am a prolific traveler, and I honestly missed the travel experience and was looking forward to the trip. I chose to keep my travel plans but wondered how much of my decision was a want and how much was a need. No one can predict the future, and my choice could be seen as unnecessary and risky. It could also be seen as a perfect time to choose family while they are around, rather than grieve for them or the missed opportunity to create memories.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences if you’ve had to make a similar choice. What would your choice be? Covid travel or not?

Massage, one of the best things for self care.

Massage, one of the best things for self care.

They are plenty of different types of travelers. Backpackers, weekenders, thrill seekers, and holiday travelers are but a few.  I have traveled extensively for work and pleasure and I consider myself a spa traveler.  For me, travel is not just to have been to a destination or to check it off my bucket list, I travel for the experience of travel.  Most importantly, a spa visit to wherever I go is a must as I believe that self care is the best care.

With Covid 19, travel is limited, but it is limitless in my mind.  Inner travel often takes me back to many of my previous travel experiences as well as the ones I’d like to have.  Lately, getting at home massages has been a way for me to elevate my inner travel experience. I believe that a massage is one of the best things for self care, a way to treat yourself and take a break from life.  For an hour, I can do nothing but be still and have someone concentrate on me, the ultimate getaway.

What travel experiences do you think you can bring to your life without leaving the presence of your home?  Can you make a cocktail or cocktail and take an hour for yourself? Can you just sit still and watch the world go by on your street or neighborhood?  Just people watch like we do when we’re on vacation and curious about the people and places we see.  Try it and let me know how bringing the inner travel experience to life works for you.

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