Claiming Your Space Archives

Being a black traveler

by Donna Hunter, PhD | Nov 17, 2021 | 6 comments

It’s 2021, and it still amazes me to see the reactions of people I assume think I don’t belong in a particular space. Stereotypes are well established, and I still get the microaggressive questions like, where are you from? What do you do? What does your husband do? Sometimes I also get blunt questions like What brings you here? I remember the famous Oprah Winfrey shopping experience quite well, and I realize that no matter the status, being a black traveler comes with some unique experiences. Here are a few recollections from my experiences.

First-class

I’m a luxury traveler, and whenever possible, I indulge myself with that experience. I can’t count the number of times I have queued for the first /business class travel lane and had fellow passengers step around me like I was invisible. I often also get the automatic direction to the right from a flight attendant when boarding a plane. It amuses me to go left, and then I get asked again for my boarding pass for a second verification as if somehow there was a mistake.

Travel lounges

Entering a travel lounge is no different. I often see people flash their boarding passes and walk into the lounge. However, I am frequently asked not only for my boarding pass but for identification. When in the lounge, I see other passengers being asked if they would like a refill or a request if service is needed. Frequently I am overlooked and must request service.

Customs and immigration

Customs and immigration are no different. I realize that some questions are valid, but I sometimes feel a sense of invasiveness when asked, what brings you here? Where are you staying? How long are you staying? Although these might be valid questions, I’ve stood in line long enough to see that not everyone is questioned in the same way. My history of microaggressive behavior makes me question the questioner.

Hotels

As a frequent traveler, I often stay at the same hotel chain for loyalty points. As a loyal customer and quite knowledgeable about hotel services, I am rarely recognized as a loyal customer. I know my wants are documented in the system, yet my room is often not as requested. Again, this may be just assuming the worst, but historical experience tells me I’m not off the mark.

This article is by no means meant to be a complaint. It is simply a sharing of my lived experiences. Have you noticed or experienced similar experiences? If you haven’t, I invite you to take notice and claim your validity of space. It’s incredible that even now, in 2021, the spaces I enter question my presence simply because of my hue.

Travelers Beware-Drug mules.

by Donna Hunter, PhD | Oct 17, 2021 | 0 comments

I recently wrote about theft on an airplane and got so many responses. Today I’d like to discuss another aspect of air travel many do not consider. As flight attendants, we knew to look out for the warning signs of drug mules, excessive sweating, refusal to eat or drink, or acting nervous. I recently saw a post on social media where a lady shared the story of her interaction with a drug mule. I like to write short insightful pieces, but I had to share this as is. This story is not my story, but I am sharing it because it is accurate and does happen.

COPIED (As was written by the unknown author without correction)

If you travel by air a lot, beware of over friendly chatty seat neighbours.

The older lady comes and sits next to me inside the plane. She asked me to help her put her bag in the overhead luggage compartment. But a gentleman sitting across quickly came through. (I am not very tall and the overhead luggage compartment is something I try to avoid at all costs.

Immediately she sits down she strikes up a conversation. She was very pleasant and well spoken. So we chatted all through the flight to Dubai.

Suddenly, when the pilot announced that we were now proceeding to begin our descent into DXB, my good friend ‘developed’ stomach pains. Me with my good heart, I pressed the stewards button, and the stewardess came to find out what the problem was. I told her my seat mate was not feeling well. And this lady, she suddenly began to address me as ‘my daughter’. The stewardess told me that there was nothing they could do except give her some painkillers and wait until we landed. The pilot announced that we had a medical emergency on board and advised us all to stay calm. My new friend was crying and sweating like crazy. And she refused to let go of my hand… everyone assumed we knew each other.

So we landed at DXB and the same gentleman who helped put up her luggage in the overhead compartment removed her luggage. But as he removed the luggage, he advised me to distance myself from this lady and make it clear to the cabin crew that we were NOT travelling together. He was a godsend!

So indeed, the cabin crew came and asked me if we were related, I categorically told them we had met on the plane. I didn’t know her at all. So we began to deplane and as I said goodbye she kept begging me to carry her handbag. I was so torn… but the gentleman looked me in the eye and emphatically shook his head. He passed me a note telling me to let the cabin crew handle her.

So I exit the aircraft and leave my ‘new friend’ to wait for the wheelchair and be handled by the cabin crew feeling very guilty.

As we waited for our luggage to come through, I hear this commotion. My ‘new friend’ was running, trying to escape the cabin crew, having gotten out of the wheelchair! She left the stewardess with her handbag and just ran towards the exit with the rest of her hand luggage! Luckily the airport police were faster than her. They got hold of her and brought her back in handcuffs.

This lady starts calling out to me.. my daughter… my daughter!.. how could you do this to me….. that’s when I caught on. She was carrying drugs and she was trying to implicate me!

Luckily for me, the gentleman who had helped her with her luggage came forward and told the airport police that me and her had just met on the plane. The police took my passport and asked her to reveal my full names if it was true we were travelling together. By God’s grace, I had not even told her my first name! I was still asked to follow the police to a little room where I was questioned extensively. Where did I meet her?… where did I board… where did she board. Etc… And my luggage was extensively searched and dusted for fingerprints.

They dusted all her luggage and my fingerprints were not found anywhere on her luggage or on her handbag!

I was let go with advice never ever to touch anyone’s luggage either in flight or at the airport. So from that day, I don’t care how much luggage you have, you will deal with it yourself. I will not even offer you a trolley to put your luggage on! Your luggage… your problem…. is my policy. And if you can’t reach the overhead compartment, and I am the nearest person, please call the cabin crew because all I will do is give you a blank stare and then look away!

A lesson to glean therein for intending air travelers.

COPIED.

Just as I wrote about theft on the airplane, I could not have relayed the dangers of being too friendly more pointedly. Travelers should be relaxed and have fun, be nice, but most of all, be cautious. I hope this story opens your eyes a bit.

Five tips to claiming your space when traveling.

by Donna Hunter PhD | Feb 15, 2021 | 0 comments

I mentioned before about biases and microaggression often encountered by people of color while traveling. Even though I am an experienced traveler, I recently traveled and had some similar travel experiences, so I wanted to share my thoughts on how to feel more secure in your travel experience.

1.Keep in mind that you paid for the same privilege of travel no matter if you paid more or less than other travelers. Be mindful of others but always remember that your personal space is just that, and do not allow others to infringe upon your right.

2.If you have followed all the rules for the boarding process, know that you can take the time to put your items away and settle yourself in your seat. You should always give thought to the people behind you but remember the plane can’t leave until everyone is seated, so don’t feel obligated to rush because of an impatient traveler.

3.Storage space on an airplane is shared space, so feel free to place your items where there is space. Often travelers get quite flustered as the space above their seat is not available. So keep an eye out for storage space as you are going to your assigned row, and if you see that the space above your row is not vacant, feel free to use the overhead storage area before your seat or after. It is easier to retrieve your luggage when getting off the plane if it is in front of you rather than behind.

4.Try always to acknowledge your seatmates if they are already seated or if they sit after you. If they don’t respond, don’t be insulted, as this allows you to make sure you are being seen, even if not acknowledged. Many times, as travelers of color, there can be a perception that you don’t belong in a space. Claim your right and stand by it.

5. Finally, if you have paid for a specific seat, do not feel obligated to adjust to other traveler’s needs. It is thoughtful to help out if it fits your need but do not feel obliged to give up your seat to accommodate others, especially if your preference is not what has been offered as an alternative to you.

I hope these tips help for a more pleasant travel experience. Have you ever been made to feel as if you don’t belong when traveling? I’d love to hear about it.

5 Flight attendant annoyances

by Donna Hunter PhD | Dec 28, 2020 | 0 comments

There are many things that flight attendants find annoying. Some are more annoying than others, and some may not be an annoyance based on the individual flight attendant. The following are some that I still remember as being annoying to me. For disclosure, these are from my lived experience as a flight attendant.

1.Coffee: Having been raised and based in New York as a flight attendant, if a passenger said, “regular coffee,” I understood it to mean coffee with milk and sugar. If they said, “light and sweet,” I like most flight attendants had no idea how light to make the coffee or how many sugar packets the passenger needed. Some passengers meant just a drop of milk, and others wanted half milk, half coffee. Deciding how many packs of sugar meant sweet to a person you’d never met was a pointless guess at best. Like passengers, flight attendants are people from all over the country and the world; knowing each passenger’s specific coffee requirements was most times an exercise in futility.

2.Aisle Passengers. Most passengers prefer aisle seats because of the ability to have a little extra room. This preference was often a perception that overlooked the fact that the aisle they assumed to be extra space was the flight attendant’s working space. Airline service carts could be a hundred pounds or more and somewhat challenging to maneuver. Weighted down with beverages or food to serve the number of people on board, often proved a challenge for a flight attendant to operate. Aisle passengers often extended their body parts into the aisle, and it was not uncommon for the cart to inadvertently hit a passenger. In many cases, the passenger got angry at the flight attendant without considering that the service cart was at least 3 feet long and even higher. Hence, the flight attendant seeing over the cart, and the extended body part was unreasonable at best.

3.Touching. Passengers often think it is ok to touch or poke a flight attendant to get their attention, which is often very annoying to flight attendants. A flight attendant call light is within every passenger’s reaching distance, and using this is much preferable than to be poked. Moreover, a hand wave or similar gesture is universal regardless of language. Having your body nudged several times a flight could be rather annoying.

4.Lavatory doors. They are not automatic, and standing in front of them will not make them open. Often passengers would stand in the lavatory area waiting for flight attendant instructions on how to open the door or be told whether it was vacant or not. Bathroom doors, like every other bathroom door elsewhere, has a lock. Unlike most bathrooms, airplane bathrooms have instructions, and most often, if not in the native language, there is visual signage. Along with signage, airline lavatories also have an occupied/unoccupied sign, which in most cases are red and green and are universally understood to mean the same everywhere. To be seen as a bathroom attendant is very frustrating to flight attendants.

5.Asking “where are we?” Flight attendants walk up and down the aisle, usually positioned several feet above the window level. Furthermore, like most passengers, they cannot pinpoint locations 30,000 feet above the ground. Yes, several landmarks are apparent to some, but flight attendants do not have the luxury of sitting and looking out the window on flights, nor do they have an inner GPS. Your guess is as good as theirs.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this glimpse behind the scenes. These are perceptions of my lived and actual experience as a flight attendant. I hope they’ve been eye-opening and will make for more happy travels.

5 Covid friendly hotel stay tips.

by Donna Hunter PhD | Dec 16, 2020 | 0 comments

Having flown as a career for over 20 years I have stayed in many hotel rooms and so the experience has taught me a lot about what to look out for in terms of cleanliness.

1. Check the hotel sheets. No one wants to sleep on possible dirty covid sheets. I can’t tell you how many different times I have gone into a hotel room just dying to shower and get into bed and found that the sheets have not been changed. If you do this when you first get into the hotel room, there is plenty of opportunity for the hotel to fix the issue before you are ready to go to bed.

2. Make sure the sheets are visibly dirty before you check out of the hotel and prevent any possible Covid spread. I think it’s just a matter of kindness to the next guest and just plain hygienic. Don’t feel bad as the hotel should automatically be doing this anyhow. I always wiped the bottom of my shoe across the sheets before I checked out.

3.Place a face towel or hand towel on the bathroom counter to place all your items on. Especially in this time of covid you do not want to transfer any germs to your face or hands. It’s also a visual reminder of anything placed on the counter and it helps in not forgetting items like jewelry in the bathroom.

4. Take an extra washcloth and wipe the toilet seats down. I think we all assume that the hotel room has been cleaned thoroughly but my experience has shown that the toilet seat is often overlooked.

5. Treat hotel room floors like airplane bathrooms and never assume it’s just water. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve passed through hotel corridors and seen the remains of a hotel room party gone wild. Let’s face it, the hotel does not have the manpower or capability to thoroughly clean hotel room floors, nor do they often have time between checkouts. Covid can be easily spread through bodily fluids.

I hope my tips have been helpful, check back in for more of my lived travel experience.