Being a Black ex-pat.

Being a Black ex-pat.

My lived experience is affected by being born in Barbados, a former international flight attendant, and living in London, Germany, and Singapore as an ex-pat. I am accustomed to being exposed to different cultures and being in spaces with people who do not look like me. Being a Black ex-pat is a similar experience as most ex-pats tend to have less melanin. Here are a few of my experiences that you might find interesting.

As a Black ex-pat, nationality has at times played an even more significant role than race. Having an American passport has occasionally lessened the impact of my skin color. Additionally, the perception of me being an ex-pat gives the assumption of certain socio-economic status. This notion seems to provide an added benefit my skin color does not always allow.

Most foreigners view black culture through what they see in media, pop culture, and their local prejudices. It’s not uncommon for someone to strategically take a picture with me in the frame. I am now not even fazed when asked to take a picture with someone. This request is much more acceptable to me than being staged in someone’s photo without consent.

Microaggression is always present. It’s a constant reality navigating other people’s perception of the black lived experience. As an educated black woman with a doctorate, I refuse to be the racial educator. It can be exhausting to explain racism when tone-deaf comments tend to be frequent occurrences.

I’m comfortable with being the only black person in the room. People often express to me their love for a famous black person. I often refer to this as the “Obama” effect. I see these expressions as people’s way of affirming their acceptance of me occupying the space I’m inhabiting and making me feel comfortable.

As a Black ex-pat, I have become familiar with being stared at. I tend to see the stares as a curiosity that lessens the discomfort I may feel. However, I have had to aggressively stare back in some instances to make people realize that I am not a museum piece.

Whether as a Black ex-pat or a frequent traveler, have you had any similar experiences? I’d like to know.

Traveling with younger children.

Traveling with younger children.

I was an international flight attendant before I had children, so I thought I had all the knowledge I needed to travel with children.  Knowing and doing are two different things. I made many mistakes along the way, and it has been a long time since I’ve traveled with children.  Here are my five tips to help young mothers on the journey.

1. Traveling with pre-made infant formula or breast milk is allowed through TSA.  Inform them in advance that you have liquids for your baby so that you will be processed accordingly.  Not every TSA station, even at the same airport, treats everyone the same or seems to have the same policies at times. Using clear containers for your baby’s feeding is recommended, and having just enough feedings for travel time plush a small extra is usually enough.

2. Airplanes are always equipped with babies and children in mind. Some even have special-size life jackets or supplies and activities designed for children in mind.  What is common, however, is a bathroom equipped with a drop-down changing table for babies.  Use it and not the seat. It’s unhygienic and inconsiderate to your fellow passengers.  Also, don’t hand the dirty diaper to your flight attendant. Use those airsick bags provided and dispose of them in the restroom.

3. Children have different preferences for their feedings.  If your child prefers warm bottles, make it hot before you leave, wrap it in aluminum foil and towels, and place it between diapers.  It will not stay warm forever, but it should last a shorter, distanced flight.  Towels can serve as double duty for cleanup, and you can never run out of diapers.

4. Try to arrive at the airport with time to get through security without the stress of possibly missing your flight.  Give yourself time for the realities of traveling with children and the extra security you may encounter.

5. Traveling with infants allows you a few privileges such as early boarding and gate-checking your stroller.  Use the stroller to get through the airport and to your gate.  Once there, you should check your stroller, so it is not another piece of luggage you need to worry about.  You will not need it in flight, and in most cases, it can be delivered to you when you get off the plane.

Traveling with children is indeed a stressful experience.  However, there are so many ways to make it less so and a pleasant experience.  Have you traveled with children? Do you have any suggestions? I’d like to hear.

Travel and culture.

Travel and culture.

Travel and culture do not necessarily go hand in hand. They are many people who have traveled extensively but are still culturally unaware due to their unconscious biases. When thinking about traveling, travelers must always be aware that they will experience cultural differences and be respectful of the culture they choose to place themselves in, even if they don’t accept it. Here are five ways to become a more culturally sensitive traveler.

1. Know that culture is not limited by race or ethnicity. People have different cultures based on their upbringings, language, gender, religion, or sex, to name a few. As a traveler, expect to see people who have different experiences, backgrounds, or viewpoints.

2. Know that you will see, hear and possibly feel things that will be different from what you are accustomed to. For example, queuing or standing in line is common when traveling through airports in the boarding process. However, in some cultures, the boarding process can be chaotic as some cultures are accustomed to a “me first” mentality.

3. Know that even though you might recognize your destination for a particular culture, this does not mean that you have to abandon your own culture. Be culturally sensitive as many places are multi-cultural, and you can add value to your destination with your own culture.

4. Know that culture influences people’s attitudes, beliefs, values, and behavior. Try not to judge a person based on what you presume to be their culture; oftentimes, your judgment is based on your own unrecognized bias.

5. Know that travel becomes a much more pleasant experience when you have learned to accept and respect people and their differences. You will become much more open to new knowledge and experiences and add value by sharing your own culture with others.

It has pained me to see the new wave of Asian racism as much as it has been to experience it as a person of color. What I do know, however, is that traveling has opened my eyes to see people as they are and not what I think they are. Has traveling opened your eyes culturally? I’d like to know.

Five safety tips when traveling solo.

Five safety tips when traveling solo.

Traveling alone can be challenging whether you are an adventurous person or not, and no timing or circumstance can make the journey ideal.  As with all travel, the key to traveling is preparation.  When traveling solo, you should give thought to some safety precautions.  These five tips are not all-inclusive but are meant to help those planning to travel alone.

1.Share your information with someone, whether it is a family member or a friend.  Always let someone know where you are going and when you plan to return.  If you’ve planned an itinerary, share it with someone and in the age of social media, stay as connected as you can.

2.Upon arrival, take note of your surroundings and the people around you.  Do they look like tourists, or do they look local? Is there anyone you notice who is paying particular attention to you?  There will always be locals trying to provide transportation upon arrival, but pre-planned transportation or recognized taxi service is always a better option.

3.Get an idea of the travel time to your destination.  When making reservations, take note of the driving time and/or distance to know if your ride is taking longer than usual.  Often, taxis will take the scenic route to increase the fare, but knowing timing lets the driver know you have an idea of your destination and that you are an aware passenger.

4.When checking into your room, ask at the check-in desk for a floor plan.  Some people prefer to be close to the stairs, while others prefer to be near an elevator.  Seeing a floor plan lets you know the general area of the floor you will be staying on, and you can request a change before you leave the check-in desk.

5.Check the room as soon as you get in. Hotels are not perfect, and you might be checking into an occupied room.  Check closets and bathrooms before closing your room door completely.  Use all deadbolts and locks when in the room and always check before opening your door, even if you expect service from the hotel.

I could add so many other tips, but these are some of the most common guidelines that come to mind.  Traveling solo can be wonderful, but it’s best to do it safely.  What are some of the tips you would give if you’ve traveled solo before?  If you haven’t, were these safety tips helpful? I’d like to know.

Five tips to become a first-rate traveler.

Five tips to become a first-rate traveler.

With my years of experience in professional and personal travel, many people have asked me to give travel stories about my experiences.  This interest makes for great conversation pieces and ways to find commonality with people I meet. Here are my five tips to become an excellent traveler and share great travel stories with people you meet.

  1. Be kind.
  2. Be kinder.
  3. Be the kindest.
  4. Be one of a kind.
  5. Don’t be that kind.

It’s incredible how kindness changes not only your experience but the experience of others.  We are all a part of the world, and being kind is simply the least expensive and most significant way to show love to others.  What tips would you give? I’d like to know.

Travel is more than a physical journey.

Travel is more than a physical journey.

Many people will tell you that they want to travel and have spent years saving or planning for travel yet have not done it. Traveling is more than a physical journey; it takes a lot more mental effort than most people realize.

If you have yet to travel and have a strong desire, ask yourself why not? Often people that have finally made an effort to travel will forever be travelers. I have yet to find someone who has traveled and said, “never again.”

Travelers become addicted to the people, places, and experiences they have while traveling. They become more open-minded and able to challenge their beliefs and strengths. Many think travelers focus more on the destination. Still, at the core, the destination is never satisfying because they want to go somewhere else, they set a new goal, a new destination, and it never ends.

Travel goals mean little if a traveler does not consider the process of achieving the goal. Just like setting a plan to lose weight or getting through a job interview, mental preparation is often the key to success.

To achieve your travel goal, here are five questions to ask yourself,

  1. Why do I want to travel?
  2. Where do I want to go?
  3. When do I want to get there?
  4. How much effort am I willing to give?
  5. What do I want to achieve by traveling?

I am sure that finding the answer to some, if not all, of these questions, will put you on a path to start traveling as you desire. The only way to start traveling is to do just that, start. Let me know if you find value in this piece; I’d like to know.